Thursday, February 23, 2017

what He tells us in the dark...

Weeks ago, I laid in bed unable to sleep. So I started to pray, and as I laid there praying a thought process began running through my head. I started thinking about all the people that come through our home and how we give them a tour and tell them the amazing things that God has done here. I have even said to some that everything they see here has come directly from the Lord; that I can't take any credit for any of it. And while that is completely true, there is another side to that that didn't occur to me until that night:

I could sit here and list out all my responsibilities and all the drops of tears and sweat it has taken to build this home and to build this life. Everything I do to run this ministry and to run this orphanage. It is true that I work 9-10 hours a day, sometimes more, 6, sometimes 7 days a week. We rest when it is possible, but sometimes it is just not possible. I could fill this blog with all the work and all the stress that is required by everything we have here, but I am not going to take the time.
It is a hard job, harder than any job I can imagine...but what occurred to me that night was that when I tell people that we have done nothing, and the Lord has done everything - that makes Him look so much less glorious than He really is. Yes, if it were not for Him, none of this would exist and it is because of Him that all of this exists.
However, I should tell you why I have done all that I have done. It's not because I am some robot or puppet on a string. I'm not. I have done this, and it exists and is what it is, because MY GOD is worthy of it. He is worthy of every ounce of energy, every ounce of strength, every ounce of wisdom that He gives me. He is the giver. And He is worthy that I give it ALL back to Him.
What on earth else, or what other god, is so beautiful and so deserving that someone would literally give up so many very precious things to follow Him? There is no other and nothing else can compare.
Only Jesus is that attractive, that beautiful, and that worthy.

And once this thought process began to take root in my mind, God put a song in my heart. I was no longer worried about not being able to sleep. I jotted it down and then I was told that what was being spoken to me, that I was to share it. "What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs." While I knew I would feel uncomfortable sharing something so personal, I decided I would just share it with Geoffrey the next morning. I put the voice off and waited a few days and then shared it with Geoffrey. And, still not understanding why I feel led to share this with the world, Lord forgive me, it isn't until now that I will humbly share it with you:

Your mercy draws me,               (No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them)
Your grace it saves me,             (For it is by grace you have been saved...and that of God)
Your beauty moves me,             (this only do I seek:...to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.)
And your word is my strength.       ('Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of                                                                                                        God.'")

You said to fly,
How could I not?
I closed my eyes,
And I jumped.                            (Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.)
Your faithfulness,
Is what consumes me,
I live and breathe,
Every breath for you.

Your light shines,
So bright in the darkness,                                          
How could I not,                          (They left everything and followed Him.)
Just run to you?

There's no puppet on a string here.
There's no pilot at the wheel.
But everything you see here,
It is real.
Because of His grace,                 (she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. As she stood behind him at his 
Because of His beauty,                feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped 
His Word and his faithfulness,     them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.)
They just consume me.

There's no puppet on a string here.
There's no pilot at the wheel.
But everything you see here,
It's because of my God.
He is real.

I live and breathe,
Every breath for you.
Your light it shines,
So bright in the darkness,
How can I not,
Just run to you?

There's no puppet on a string here.
There's no pilot at the wheel.
My God's just worthy,
Of everything I am.
Irresistibly worthy,
Of everything I am.

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