Okay so I quit my bank manager job where I was making more than double what I needed to live and sold every single belonging, minus my pillow, some clothes, and my most favorite books, sold my car and got on a plane and moved to a very poor and very dangerous country.
I speak good enough Spanish, but speaking "good enough" is not enough to be able to survive. I told everybody I knew I was going to start a children's home. Yep, I must be crazy. Who does that anyway? What if I fail? Where will I get enough money? What if I get myself killed? What if in 30 years I still don't have a children's home? "Oh my goodness," I think, "I have gone crazy."
Then I look 10 feet behind me at the man sitting on the computer at the kitchen table. He thought I was crazy too when we first met and told me, "Look Jenna, you've already told everyone what you're going to do. Even if you change your mind and decide not to go, I think you should at least go for a couple of months....then come back." He was so sincere when he said it. He thought I was crazy.
The only reason I can tell myself I am not crazy is because I believe with all my heart that God told me to go. So I remind myself that God told me to go...and usually that quiets the conversation.
Well the man who sits 10ft behind me had a job where he made about triple what he needed to live on and could have retired with full benefits and full pension when he turned 42 years old. He is 28 now. Him and his dad built this super nice house in the nicest neighborhood in Alex City, with a huge hot tub on the back porch only three years ago....he quit his job and put a for sale sign in the front yard. He sold off his professional sound company, quit his band, sold his car, and moved here with me. He must be crazy too.
But he said that God showed him he was supposed to come here.
Some people think we are crazy, even some that I know believe in God. They ask me what our plans are and then the inevitable question comes - how will you get the money to do this? And knowing full well that they already think I am a little crazy, I tell them, well we are just going to trust the Lord to provide our money. I made our board members promise they'd never raise funds or ask anyone for donations. Some people get it and are encouraged and supportive...and others 'know' we are crazy after we say that. Their eyes grow big and either they just smile and nod, or they say something like, "Money doesn't just fall from the sky." Some people think it's because we are prideful and others think it's because we are bashful. But regardless, they think we are crazy.
I remind myself that God told me not to worry about the money rather to just trust Him.
Testimony - We have never asked for a dime. We have never had a need that wasn't fully supplied. Money never fell from the sky. The Holy Spirit fell on people's hearts (some of those people I've never heard of). And those with open hearts are being and have been used by the Lord to make His mission a reality. And their obedience is turned around and multiplied in their lives. We have just what we need for step one, land. Land here is more expensive than anywhere in the rest of Guatemala and way more expensive than in America. A little over two acres costs about $27,000 and that's a good deal. God already knew that and He was prepared. Taxes, visas, a vehicle, lawyers, and social workers cost a lot too...add another $12,000 to that. He already knew it and His Holy Spirit has been hard at work touching believer's hearts. He is amazing.
We have decided to do something crazy here. We want to make His name known and teach others how to worship Him. We want to use the littlest and the least to fulfill that. We are attempting something that without God doing ALL of it, it will fail. We will fail. We will be humiliated. The people will be right to say, "I told you so...money doesn't fall from the sky, you are too prideful, you are too bashful." If we were rich and had no problem in a foreign country, maybe we could do it all ourselves. But we came with only our staff, our tunic and our sandals, not two tunics...just one. No back up plan.
So why did God want to do it this way instead of some other nice way that might spare us a few strange looks and ugly thoughts? All I can think of is that He wanted to prove Himself powerful. Prove Himself alive. Prove Himself good. Prove Himself the hearer of our prayers. Prove Himself our Provider. Prove Himself the author of our faith. Prove Himself glorious. Who can deny it?
We can't take any credit for any of this. We can't take any praise or admiration. We haven't done a thing. God has done every bit of it and if we continue to listen and trust He will continue to do the rest until one glorious day His kingdom will come on this earth and every knee will bow at His name and we will watch the ones who were the least become the greatest and we will worship harder and stronger and more sincerely because we watched with worldly eyes the indescribable things that He has done.
He told us to call the home Casa Gloria. That means Glory House. Lord, you have earned your glory...receive it.
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| Photo taken by Jenna Robinson in the Coban city Dump |
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