something different.

The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.

And these were His very words to me. I had battled them long enough. I fought them constantly in my mind. In my heart. In my prayers. I fought them in front of other people. I fought them to their faces. I fought them through days of anxiety and worry and wonder. Constantly looking out the window wondering when they'd show up next. I wondered how do these people live here under this subtle and not so subtle oppression all their life? I wondered why doesn't anyone stand up to these bad guys? Why doesn't anyone fight?

And the Lord brought me a handful friends who cared. He brought me Baby. He brought me warriors in the faith. He brought me Rudy and Tita. He brought me guards. He brought me all these beautiful reminders me that He has not left me alone to fight. But peace doesn't often come in a physical form and the battle continued on. He constantly reminded me that the battle that I fight has nothing to do with anything on the outside, however it is a battle against my own little faith in His Word and in His promises. The battle going on outside our gates is a battle that is not against flesh and blood. It is not against corrupt men who are out to steal and kill and destroy, rather it is a battle against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers and the spiritual forces of wickedness - not in Chajcoxoj, nor in Chixajau - but in the heavenly places. It is Satan himself that wants to distract us, make us fail, send us home, destroy us.

We started digging for a well since the bad guys are trying to find ways to take our water. I knew just about nothing of wells and such until a few days ago. The well digger was telling me how the land was like the human body with vessels of water running all over it in different directions. It is amazing how the Lord has made the earth. So we are digging down into His creation and trying to find one of those vessels that we can borrow water from and have a source that no one can take from us.

The Lord, maybe tired of my little faith, finally shouted at me. It was like He said, "Be quiet, be still and listen to me. You've been fighting long enough. It's time for you to just be still and watch. Watch me, -I- will fight for you. Watch me, I will win right before your eyes."

And there it was, my peace.

And here I sit quietly within the walls and look out and wait expectantly for the victory that is surely ours.

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And yesterday, after four years of work, from nothing to finished, we turned in our paperwork to the social worker for him to review and turn in to the government. We have done everything we can do, or the Lord has done it all I should say, and now we have turned the ball over to the government and they will decide when to come and inspect our home. Upon approval, we will present to the judges and have our inauguration and they will begin to place children in our home. What an awesome thing this is and we are ready for it.

We have a dozen people just waiting until we call for them to come in and begin to work. Tita has been helping me with all the human resource aspects of the work and dealing with the government. Rudy has been helping me take inventory of every single item in the home and is getting ready to help me plan teams and work on cases like little Rodrigo's and baby Linda's. We haven't forgotten either of them, I had just reached my limit and could do no more without help. Now I have help. The psychologist has been coming twice a week planning workshops and training sessions for the nannies. Mayda has been running around here just as crazy as me trying to help with every little detail. And life is overwhelming. Here we are at the very brink of the ledge. Almost there, almost finished. Ready to jump in to a whole new world of work that doesn't involve construction and construction workers and concrete and sheetrock. Rather, it involves malnourished toddlers, babies who have been thrown out, little boys who have been beaten and girl's who have been violated. It involves families living in extreme poverty, and mother's who weep for their kids who were taken from them, children with HIV and children who have lost everything, literally, everything. It involves recovery, restoration, and redemption; victories and failures and an utter dependence on God. I will tell you that what you see as you look at our building is a magnificent testimony to the provision and power of the Lord. But what you will see inside our building will be something on a whole new level, at least I believe so. With construction, if there is no money you just stop. With 18 children and 17 full-time employees on government approved salaries - there is no stopping, even when you have no money. We will spend over $7,000 a month in salaries ALONE. How much does it cost to raise 18 children and babies? I have no clue.
"Money doesn't grow on trees; It doesn't fall from the sky; It won't build itself; Don't be naive; You will fail." This is what they told me. "You've created a self-destructing giant; You are in over your head." We have heard and still hear it all. And the devil tempts me to doubt and the Lord gently reassures me that "He who calls you is faithful, He will surely do it."

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And with tears in my eyes, sitting in the back corner of our little conference room, we worshiped. While we worshiped and lifted our voices to the Lord, my heart was in awe. What a place He has created here. This is what this place is designed for - worship. This is the "why" for our life. Seventeen of us gathered together for an hour and fifteen minutes. Outside the conference were the rest of our workers, 10 men and 1 woman. Why didn't I invite them in? We wouldn't have all fit for one and they were being paid to work for another, but I think next week I will consider giving them the hour to worship instead of work. To hear the word of the Lord that never returns empty. Maybe we can show one of them the "why" of life, too. Maybe one day we can invite our neighbors and even the extortionists and the bad guys to worship with us. Maybe we can be a glimpse of Jesus to more than just those within our gates. Maybe we can take them by their hands and reassure them that it is never too much, they are never in too deep. Show them that there is always a way out, but there is only the one Way. Maybe, maybe one day.