Sweet little baby boy now lives in the arms of his mother who is nothing but a sweet little girl herself. He got his name. And then there was another. Nothing but a couple pounds of bones wrapped in dark olive skin, a tiny little girl laid in the midst of a bunch of worn blankets. Dozens of other babies and mothers surrounded her, but not one knew she even existed. I peeled back the tattered blankets and lifted her up and couldn't help to think that at one and a half months old, she was much lighter than Mary Charis' six pounds on the day I first held her. She had been found on the side of the highway about two hours from Coban. She had been tossed out, unwanted, much like the blankets she was now surrounded in had once been tossed in a Goodwill box by one of you. She was no longer wanted by anyone. I wanted her. She would have been sent almost immediately to our home if our home was ready, then I could nurse life back into her and she would gain weight and she would feel wanted and loved. But our home is not ready. So she will stay in the regional hospital until the judge decides what to do with her.
I returned to my home, which doubles as my office and worksite, and began to work my fingers to the bone for her...and not only her, but all the other ones that haven't made it into my arms yet. What's the next step? How are we going to cut all those blocks into L's? Is the IRS paperwork filed? Where do we find the anchor bolts? Our car's brakes aren't working? Is the price of the concrete negotiable? The hotel is booked on those dates? What is an alisador helicoptero and how many men do I need to hire to run one? Do we have enough workers for the day? Are they working or are they stealing from us? How am I going to confront the ones who are stealing? I really have to fire my helper? The flight from Washington takes 15-24hrs? How are we going to get that signature if they're in Nicaragua? Mary Charis turns 1 in 4 months? Oh, the lawyer who stole from us is threatening us to win the case? This may be her only opportunity to get her cleft palate fixed? We need how many yards of nylon? The woman is dying from an infection in her leg? Mercy's foster family had to put her with another foster family? 36 sheets of electromalla cost what?? In order to have wood there for the May 17 team we have to order by April 1? How much is that going to cost? Fort Walton has an international airport? She has had a completely dislocated hip since birth and needs an orthopedic pediatric surgeon to determine the next step? Her cousin's tibia is completely fractured and has been for nearly a month with no medical attention? The youth team will have 23 people on it and want to do work with children in our community? Why is a whacker packer called a bailarina in Spanish? What are all those guys out there in the road doing? Fixing to douse a man with gasoline and set him on fire in front of our house? They want us to stop all work on the home and host them for an entire week and don't want to make any kind of contribution to our ministry at all? Do they know it is a 10hr trip for us just to pick them up? We need HOW many trucks of gravel delivered? 23 trucks of 6mt3 each?? It's 5:30am - who is honking their horn at our gate? Why won't my baby who is now crawling all over the house sleep at night? What about that baby girl in the hospital? It costs how much to fly into Jacksonville? Why didn't we just rent a building for the orphange? There's a little boy up in the mountains that wants to die because he hasn't been able to get out of bed for seven years? The ceiling above the stairs is leaking again. The school in the community wants to pave the mud/dirt that the kids run in all year long? Our neighbors need water again? The baby needs a bath? What is that horrible stomach pain? In Guatemala people don't build houses with schedule 40 sweeps? Where are we going to get the 23 we need with reducers to 2 and 3 inches? Who are those people at our gate? Yeah, it would be nice if I had time to teach your kids English wouldn't it? Nothing is open the whole week of Semana Santa? That's the week before the group comes and the deadline before the pour?! Why do I feel so weak and tired? No neurologist in our department? He only comes once every 15 days and this is the day? Why did he cancel on us at the last minute? Where am I going to find all these translators? Wait, how many kids did you say would attend? 453!? Why is the baby crying now? What about the little baby in the hospital.....?
And then the storm hit. I had been a little sick and weak for quite some time, and Saturday it went from a little to a lot. I needed to stay in the bed, but we are only two people and there is 25 peoples worth of work to be done. Monday our head worker tells us he needs off Tuesday for an urgent matter. Tuesday, the internet goes down and right when the first wire is due for the wood. Very little in the way of work can be done without internet. My phone won't stop ringing and it's about to die. It went from uncomfortably hot to pouring rain and winds that ripped through the night causing our rusted windows to open and slam shut. Blowing everything around inside and outside, howling. Then it went dark. With no other choice, we got in bed at 7:30pm and went to sleep. He was forcing us to stop and breathe. We woke up to very cold weather the next morning, no power and no internet. Our workers were back and working hard. Still sick, I went down to see what damage had been done from the wind. Our table had been ripped up out of the concrete, concrete broke, and carried to the other side of the land. The metal arms on the umbrella bent up. The huge pot of dirt with a tree in it had been picked up and turned upside down. But no windows were broke and the tin was still on the roof. Everything seemed okay. I asked our worker how often do we have winds like that here and he told me about three time a year. And one year it was ripping all the tin off people's roofs and the tin was flying in the air in circles.
And that is exactly what my mind has been like over the past month (that's a little under-exaggerated). Everything just violently swirling around like a huge storm and nothing can seem to be conquered without much great effort. I have lost more than just the baby weight. My hair is coming out in clumps and by the way hasn't been cut since November last year. I wonder how all the other missionaries do it? I know they are a lot better at saying "No" than I am, but I am practicing!! If I don't feel strongly that the Lord wants me to do it, or if it distracts us from building the home, then it can be good to say, "No." And maybe one day we can have a "staff" with a volunteer coordinator and a social worker.... I never took a course on building a children's home or missionary work or hosting teams in my four years of college. At least maybe one on hosting teams would have been nice. And who understands all this? I praise God for the sweet missionary friends He has brought us that came and gave us some advice based on their experiences and the others who do go through this and understand. There are so many distractions down here and a lifetime's worth of work that will never actually be accomplished - to just stop and take a breath and remember what it is the Lord has asked of me, why He brought me down here in the first place.....it's to seek first Him and His kingdom, to love Him with all my heart, my mind, and my soul, to act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with Him, to clothe myself with Him, and while doing everything I can to look after her in her distress, to remember that actually HE is her defender. I am right where He wants me and that's right where I want to be. Focus. Stop and breathe. Selah.
I think I'll name our next dog Selah. Or maybe the first baby without a name that comes to Casa Gloria. Meanwhile, focus on Him, be healthy, enjoy the work He has asked of me.
And we need men to help us frame the first floor May 17-24 and the second June 7-14. Praying to God we get enough guys to be able to accomplish this or it will be just that much longer til the home is ready. Come give us a hand here in Guatemala!
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